A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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