Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
