Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
