just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
