she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
