I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
