we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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