does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
