we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
