Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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