Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
