can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize