i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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