tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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