I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
