this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize