On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Sober January is a disaster.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
