if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
