I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
