apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
