I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
