How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize