you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
