this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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