This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
NoShamevember. You game?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
