Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
