told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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