I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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