the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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