Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
