I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
