is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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