Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
