I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
