I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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