Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize