Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
