At least make sure they are 18
Why
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
