she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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