I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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