Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
