According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
