I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize