Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
