Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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