We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
