i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
