uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
