did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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