Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
