ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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