i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
