i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
it's great music for shaving your balls
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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