Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
