Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
