i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize