you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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