He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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