he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
