At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
