I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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