at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
