it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
