farters have to be the big spoon...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
