I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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